Six: Birthday Wishes.

I promise to update more after the weekend.  We are going to the countryside.  Until then, however, this post is dedicated solely to Tara's day of birth.  

Peace. Love. Michael.

Five: Dear Steve Jobs & Zac Efron, I Will Bear Your Children.

If the above opportunity (concerning either candidate) ever presented itself as remotely possible I don’t think I’d have too many qualms about saying yes.  That being said, I’m sure you’re wondering why those two people sit at the top of my “potential suitors” list at the moment especially because they don’t really have much in common…or so one would think.  Children do not like being told they have to take a bath.  I’m not sure why this command (or, many times, plea) is so unappealing to people under the age of 8 because once they’re in they don’t want to get out.  And if you’re going to give me some sort of scientific explanation or psychological reasoning as to why then I’d advise you to save your breath—I don’t care to hear it.  Carolina and Maria came straight home from school on Monday and were told via Nicoletta (the maid) that they were to get in the bath right away.  That led to pouting.  Pouting can sometimes lead to crying.  I want to avoid crying as much as possible.  Last week I had mentioned High School Musical to Carolina, and her eyes widened like mine do upon hearing about that particular subject. (Don’t judge…it’s a good movie.)  I was pleased to hear this and tucked it in my memory to use for a later time (AKA Monday).  I told the girls that if they took their bath as soon as they got home then they could watch High School Musical until dinner.  The pouting quickly turned into smiling and then bathing.  Voila!  Success!  I’m not sure Maria, the younger one, really cared either way about watching the movie but because her sister did, she joined in on the excitement and hopped in the tub.  Valentina told me that American DVDs often do not work in Italian DVD players, so I told the girls they could watch the movie in my room on my laptop (enter my gratitude to Steve).  Resourceful, I know.  They loved it, and I exhaled with relief.  We got through our first bath without a fight or tear-stained cheeks.  Thank God and Walt Disney there’s a sequel (which, in my opinion, is more entertaining than the original).  Although I’m not sure what I’m going to do after that.  I only brought about 20 DVDs, 5 or 6 of which are suitable for kids.  Alternative suggestions are welcomed.  I am falling in love with these children, and it’s been just a week.  I know it’s going to be hard to leave them.  I’ll worry about that in September though.  If you run into Steve or Zac, give them this link.  My offer stands indefinitely.  And yes, Zac Efron is legal…hold your phone call to MSNBC.

 

Peace. Love. Zacquisha.

Four: Italy Feels A Lot Like Mississippi.

First off...Happy Birthday, Lexy!  Because I am still lacking a social life of my own, I tagged along with the family this past weekend pretty much the whole time, with the exception of Mass Sunday morning.  I suppose I could have gone and crossed my Protestant arms in front of the priest to receive a blessing during communion; however, to avoid an awkward encounter I chose not to attend and slept in instead.  I’m really good at posing as a Catholic in America but wary about doing so here.  Friday we went to Valentina’s parents’ house up in the hills of Florence.  Woah.  Absolutely amazing.  They have lemon trees.  Now I’m aware that lemon trees grow in America; however, they do not grow in my grandmother’s backyard.  I know it’s weird, but I thoroughly enjoyed them.  To make a long story short, the house is amazing.  I could definitely get used to that.  Eventually I want to take pictures, but I abstained this time around.  We ate lunch there on Sunday and then ventured to a country fair.  Valentina warned me that Americans probably wouldn’t consider this fair very exciting, so I didn’t know what to expect.  Well, I’m pretty sure one can find an event like this in any small agricultural town in America.  There were chickens, cows, sheep, donkeys, pigs, food booths, and families.  I became a little confused and began to believe I was in Mississippi again.  Once I heard Italian being spoken instead of Southern slang, I reassured myself that I was, in fact, in Europe.  It was an amusing experience.  The piglets were cute.  I could have done without the donkeys and sheep.  We ate dinner with another family at a pizzeria near the location of the fair.  This family also has an au pair, but she is British.  We are supposed to be meeting soon so maybe I can have some sort of chance at a social life.  Don’t get me wrong…it is amazing and wonderful, and I am having the time of my life; however, the girls go to bed between 7 and 8 every night so that counts them out of coming to the bars with me.  On a side note, I hope I know the people who read this thing.  Otherwise, I have a fear Chris Hansen from Dateline is about to show up at my door with cameras and questions because he wasn’t able to pick up on the sarcasm.  I’ll try to scrounge up better stories for next time.  Maybe I’ll go to Mass and cross my arms.  Until then…

 

Peace. Love. Martin Luther.

Three: German Peep Show, Anchovies, & Emergency Bells.

Ciao!

I finally made it.  I've been sans internet access for a few days; however, I am currently sitting in somewhere called The Internet Train.  It's hot and I'm perspiring...I do not glisten, it's not in my genes.  Some updates are in order considering I haven't been able to update this thing.  Let's start with the plane ride.  My mother followed me as far as she could until security had to escort her out.  Only joking; however, that would have been a treat to see, huh?  She did cry (surprise, surprise) and I did not (surprise, surprise).  I sat down in my seat and couldn't understand anyone on the plane besides the flight attendants.  I didn't realize I was supposed to learn German before boarding.  The couple next to me was quite ancient and quite chatty, and they seemed to have a knack for making my gag reflex react in ways I never knew were possible.  I actually didn't sleep on the plane at all because being in an aisle seat it is next to impossible, and I couldn't get to my neck pillow in the overhead bin because of my 5'1" vertically challenged body and my lack of German to ask for help.  So I settled for staying awake.  Dan in Real Life came on, and it seems as if this was a cue for the German wifey to place her palm on her husband's crotch area.  Thankfully, my peripheral vision sucks so I couldn't really tell what was going on.  Unthankfully, I have a very creative and imaginative mind so my thoughts of what was or was not going on outside of my peripheral view could not be controlled.  Gross.  I'm all for being in love well into your years, but not so much seeing it 5 centimeters away.  Even more foul was the stench coming from German hubby.  At first I thought the smell was coming from the bathroom, but then, like clockwork, the odor would creep its way into my nostrils and the man would shift in his seat.  Caught ya, big guy.  The rest of the flight was fine and the negatives ended up making good writing material so I suppose all in all it wasn't awful.  Skip ahead to meeting the family...Valentina, the mother, couldn't be nicer and more welcoming.  Wednesday and Thursday I got to lounge around and erase the jet lag I had accumulated from the day before and so I ventured into the city on Wednesday by myself.  I walked around by myself and felt ultra independent (now I feel ultra lame for using the word "ultra" more than once).  I ended up sitting down outside at a restaurant, and I tried to seem like I knew what I was ordering/doing (of course, I did not).  Side note: the waiter was very attractive (cue movie romance...scratch that, cue reality).  I ordered a beer and Pizza Marinara and my stupid self believes that it's cheese and marinara sauce.  Ohh noo, it can't be that easy.  It came with a special surprise...Anchovies!  Surprise, Melissa.  Now go vomit.  Needless to say, once anchovies are in something they can't be picked out.  After that I returned to the house and hung out with the girls, Maria and Carolina, a little bit.  They don't like speaking English, and I can't speak Italian so this should be interesting.  Yesterday I slept in and later on the maid and I walked together to pick up the girls from school.  It's quite humorous to watch the maid and I converse.  She doesn't speak or understand English at all so there are a lot of meaningless hand gestures and a lot of single words spoken in loud tones (FYI: loud never translates into anything but loud in other countries).  She is very sweet though.  Later that night I saw a string in the shower and figured it was for the light above me.  It was after Valentina asked me if I was okay that I realized it was the emergency bell.  Fantastic.  I am supposed to be meeting the girls in 30 minutes and need to get back to the house before doing so.  I am having fun and miss most of you like crazy.  

 

Peace. Love. Marinara.

Two: Twas 9 Hours Before Departure.

Well...I'm almost there.  Sort-of.  I'm not nervous, which I find incredibly strange.  I suppose nothing has really hit me yet.  Between graduation, moving out, and leaving for Europe for 4 months, I haven't really had time to marinate on everything and let it sink in.  Once again this post is pointless and doesn't really have any purpose.  I'm hoping these things get more exciting as the days progress (for your sake anyway).  I'm not the one who reads it.  I had a great last night in Atlanta, and I'm excited to be living here once I return.  Well, I guess this is it.  Cross your fingers for me at 6:45 pm.  Let's hope we're not flying through any tornadoes.  

Peace. Love. Adios America.

One.

I feel as if I've just been taken back in time to the 10th grade.  I have this vision of me sitting in my basement at home trying to come up with interesting things to write on my livejournal.  I'm not sure that even exists anymore; however, it isn't really any different from this thing.  The only difference is that now I'm sitting in an empty apartment trying to come up with interesting things to write.  My goal was to set this up so I can update people on my life in Italy without having to personally send each of you an email.  A few of you will get the individual emails, but I figure that this will be easier.  I feel as if my geek status has risen just a tad by creating this, but I can deal with that.  I leave in a week.  I'll probably update this once more before actually leaving, but I wanted to go ahead and set it up now because 1) I'm still in Oxford 2) Everything has been packed and 3) I'm just that cool.  I still haven't packed the rest of the stuff that's supposed to go in my car.  It's 1:36, and there's no way I'm going to start on that until tomorrow.  Oh well.  

Peace. Love. Ciao Oxford.